Conference Couplet

For those who attended the ACT Annual Conference 2010, here’s a poetic reflection of the event...

Fearing like last year very much the same
Up to the Annual Conference I came
Very exciting in the morning
Looking round to little yawning
In the hall a fantastic show
But haven’t all the banks been saying no?
Pensions come up time and again
We have to be reminded of this particular pain
Complexity here is hard to swallow
We just need a good example to follow
The biggest problem is our longevity
Of which we have much proclivity
But here is one good solution
Lost to me in elocution
Enterprise risk is something I don’t understand
Neither does anyone else in this land
One talk conceived in such a rush
Caused my neighbor to more than blush
We hear so much of trade finance
I always dismissed it after just one glance
Rushing to seminars in the mini city
Brings memories of university
Between the banks how to choose
With their slogans, how can I lose?
On e says “Thinking today about tomorrow”
Another “Transforming your tomorrow, today”
Was I prone to snoring?
Inquired a correspondent not touring
How dare they? I reply
But sometimes to stay awake, I have to try
I have a photo with a famous cup
But on the career ladder, is this the best way up?
And to be seen with one enormous guy
Who seems to say, try, try, try and try
Battling through young Mancunian crowds
Their exuberance ringing right out loud
I reach the fantastic cloudy dinner
On every count this must be a winner
We love it when a professional man
Discovers himself as a comedian
But when one of these puts on a jolly good show
Can we trust him to really know?
On the bleary second day
Thinking from what I’ve come away
Will the escape to academic debate
Make my other work run late?
On the euro two different stories
Will it die or go on to glory
It’s best to hear different views
But all we want is no bad news
Have we pushed the aims of the Association?
Excellence through education
It was rare but nice to hear from corporates
And not just of the margin on their rates
Exhibitors seem to be getting weary
Let’s hope they don’t think it’s too dreary
No, a long line here, that’s made me think
But it’s only for a strong hot drink
These question panels are really fun
To hear from people who get things done
The audience was strangely quiet
I’m sure it wasn’t down to diet
And I certainly don’t think
It was the usual cause of too much to drink
Perhaps the invading Blackberry
Has made us all much less merry
Or the ballooning iPhone
Has borne a less inquiring tone
We race into the final lecture
Is this just mere conjecture?
Having left the house in charge of offspring
I’m getting scared of anything
So let’s hope there is no shock
When my key goes in the lock
We are reminded it is change we need
Ensure you have the power to lead
But as my career nears its end
I’m less inclined my ear to lend
In tribute to Vikram Seth
Do these couplets carry breath
Of his long book, I near the end
A beautiful message for him to send

By Will Spinney